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You Can.
In less than two months I will graduate. It is a surreal experience. Just the other day I corrected a patient who referred to me as doctor, and it struck me that soon I won’t have to do that. Somehow I made it. And if I can, you can.
Medical school is a crucible; one I almost never made it to. Eight years ago I was working a job I hated in order to fund my outrageous partying habit. Through a series of life events I found myself facing a crossroad, asking “what am I was going to do that will make some difference in the world?” It was then that I found medicine.
No one thought I was serious when I said I would quit my job and go back to school. I wasn’t even sure of my sincerity. But I did it. Soon the late nights at the bar were replaced by late nights in the library. Alcohol was replaced with coffee and energy drinks. I practically moved into a local coffee shop.
During undergrad there were times I struggled. One particular day, while stressed out and on the verge of giving up, an advisor told me I might want to reconsider med school if I could not handle the stress of undergrad. A year later, I was criticized for accepting admission to my state school because I “wasn’t aiming high enough.” And when I inquired about getting an MPH in medical school I was told by multiple sources that I would not be able to handle two degrees in 4 years (most programs require you take a year off, which I did not want to do).
This May, after 4 years of medical school, I will graduate with my MD and my MPH. I have multiple journal publications. I have held positions on national committees in organized medicine. That’s not bad for a guy who “wasn’t aiming high enough.”
I am not a role model for anyone nor am I here to speak of my successes; I am just a guy that survived the experience. At every step of my journey there have been people who have tried to temper my goals with their doses of “reality.” Each time, those predictions have proven to be false. I want to share with you, the med students and pre-med students who read my blog, that you are the master of your future. I am proof that you can make it when everyone around you suggests you can’t.
Your life is just that, your life. You cannot let anyone or anything else dictate where it is headed. Maybe you had a rough past. Maybe your parents say you can’t make it. Maybe your scores don’t seem high enough. But what ever you want to do, you can do it. The world abounds with stories of individuals overcoming odds.
My point is this: I, an ordinary and unexceptional person, made it to, and through, medical school. I promise you, if I can do it then almost anyone can. Talent only gets you so far. If you have the drive, the passion, and the work ethic then you can do whatever you set your mind to. No matter who says you can’t, you can.
I say ‘be whole’, I don’t say ‘be perfect’. And the difference is tremendous. When I say ‘be whole’, I allow you contradictions – then be wholly contradictory. When I say ‘be whole’, I don’t give you a goal, a criterion, an ideal; I don’t want to create any anxiety in you. I simply want you, in this moment, wherever, whatsoever you are doing, and whatsoever you are, to be total in it. If you are sad, be totally sad – you are whole. If you are angry, be totally angry. Go into it totally.
The idea of perfection is absolutely different, diametrically opposite – not even different, opposite. The perfectionist will say ‘Never be angry; always be compassionate. Never be sad; always be happy.’ He chooses one polarity against the other.
In wholeness, we accept both the polarities: the lows and the highs, the ups and the downs.
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